Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe - Part 4

R Heath Davis III was a long time friend of mine.  It took thirty  years before I knew why he was in my life.   

I worked at a law firm as a stenographer the summers I was 17, 18, and 19.  It was in downtown Chicago and I used to love the commute on the train.  There were four lawyers that I worked for.  But it was Heath Davis who I enjoyed the most.   Heath was in his mid 30’s.  He had a very sarcastic wry sense of humor, a mischievous nature, was very handsome in a  James Dean kind of way and I had a mad crush on him.  He was happily married to Jane and at the time they had two young children.  

When I met Heath at the law firm, I was only 17 years old and everyone treated me like a kid.  But not Heath — he treated me like an adult, probably was one of the first to do so.  I have very fond memories of discussions we would have in his office about everything from Religion to Viet Nam to Current Events to his desire to be a race car driver.   He was one of the first people to actually listen to what I had to say and at least pretend to be interested.  I was young and timid and had very little confidence and he made me feel “grown up” and interesting.  Sometimes he would call me in to dictate a letter and we would get to talking about something and I would be gone for an hour.  When I got back to my office the older ladies in the steno pool would make some comment about how long I had been gone and I would have to try to explain why it took me an hour for one letter.   We often went out to lunch together and had many in depth conversations in his office.  We loved to talk.  We often disagreed on many topics but loved discussing them and sparring with each other.  He never called me Laura, it was always Wachter, my last name at the time.  It was by far one of the most rewarding friendships in my life.  

On my last day the last summer I worked for the law firm Heath walked me down to the lobby to say good-bye.   Years later, looking back I had this very vague memory of him kissing me goodby.  I couldn’t figure out if that had really happened or if it was just a fantasy of a young girl who had a crush on her boss.  

Over the years as I got married and had children and built a life for myself I always sent Heath and Jane a Christmas  card giving them news of my ever growing family.  I would get short pithy replies from Heath about how much he and Jane enjoyed the letters.   So, I continued to send the letters.  In 1985, about 8 years after I had last seen Heath I decided to give him a call.  He sounded terrible.  He spoke with a slur and he sounded extremely depressed.  It turned out that he had been diagnosed with a brain tumor.  When they took him for surgery he told his surgeon “either fix me or kill me doc”.  Well, the surgeon didn’t do either and the challenging results of the surgery were more than both he and Jane expected.  Much later, I learned from Jane that although the surgery went as well as could be expected Heath had a very long recovery at which time he spent four long months just lying on the couch, too depressed to move.  It was during those months that I had called him.  He had to relearn to talk and walk and the going was rough.  Although he had changed a lot as most people with brain injuries do, he was eventually able to return to work as a lawyer but on a much smaller scale.   He had a small personal practice of his own.  

Over the next 20 years I continued to send Christmas cards every year and every once in awhile I would receive a reply but most years I would not.  I sometimes thought I should quit sending them as it had been so long and he rarely responded.  But I continued, because every time I thought to take him off my Christmas card list I found I wanted him in my life even if it was just the outskirts of my life.

Then in 2007, as you know, we had a tragedy in our family.  Your Uncle Max had an aortic aneurysm which  had ruptured.  He was taken in for immediate surgery but unfortunately suffered a brain injury and two strokes during the surgery.  He was in a coma for eight weeks.  When he came out of the coma he was severely disabled.  Physically he could still get around but he was partially blind, not able to follow conversations, easily stressed and could not be left alone.  Your Aunt Ann, was devastated.  

I visited Ann when Max was still rehabilitating and had not yet come home.  She was understandably overwhelmed and desperately trying to hold things together.  One of her issues was that she did not have a healthcare power of attorney for Max.  This was causing all sorts of problems and making every step a little more difficult.  We were talking about this one night and I said, “If only we knew a lawyer.” And that is when Heath came to mind.  

I called Heath out of the blue having not talked to him in over 20 years.  He was happy to hear from me and we made plans to meet for lunch the next day.  I once again took the commuter train into the city and memories of my time at the law firm flooded back.  I was excited to be seeing him again but anxious about how the brain injury may have changed him.  I went to his door and taped to the door was our most recent family Christmas picture and a red rose.  I chuckled as I walked in and  Heath greeted me as he always greeted me at the law firm “Wachter, how ya doin’?!” and gave me a big hug.  Heath obviously looked much older but had the same mischievous twinkle in his eye and the same sarcastic sense of humor.  It was like my time at the law firm was yesterday.  We had a wonderful lunch and once again talked about everything under the sun.  At one point during the lunch he spontaneously took my hand and kissed it.  It was an affectionate “it is just so good to see you” gesture.   We started to talk about my time at the law firm and he said “You know, I have this memory about your last day.  I think I kissed you good bye which was so inappropriate but I just so badly wanted you to have a good life.”  We laughed over that as I told him my story of wondering if that had ever happened.  Once we finished catching up I told him about Ann’s situation.  He offered to write up a power of attorney and told me to have Ann forge Max’s name on it.  Now I want to tell you that my sister and I are pretty much rule followers.  It is extremely unlikely that either of us would agree to this had we not been in such desperate straights.  But we were overwhelmed and if we could get this one thing straightened out, we could deal with everything else.  

I took the papers home to Ann and then a couple of days later once again met with Heath.  As he signed the papers he said in that sarcastic  way of his, “You know I could go to jail for this.”  And then he signed them anyway.  I told him I would bail him out but then we would have to find a good lawyer. Ann and I will both be forever thankful to him for being there for us in our hour of need.  He was one of many angels to help us during that most difficult of times not only because of the power of attorney but because he and Jane shared their experience and were able to give us some insight into how to deal with a brain injury since they had lived it.  While we were all still a bit shell shocked about Max’s condition Heath and Jane met the three of us for dinner.  They told us their story of Heath’s brain tumor, his recovery and eventual acceptance of their new reality.  It was a kindness I will always remember.  

Heath and I stayed in closer touch after that.  We often called each other just to chat.  We got to know each other’s families.  We still had a lot to talk about and we both agreed that we must have known each other in a former life.  Last year I heard from Jane that Heath had passed away.  He had a lot of health problems due to his brain injury and finally succumbed.  He left Jane and four children and multiple grandchildren and in reading his son, John’s eulogy I could see that he had positively affected all of the people in his life.  I hope he knew how much I cared for him.