IN PURSUIT OF THE ANSWERS TO UNASKED QUESTIONS
I always believed I knew my mother completely—until she was no longer here.
Now, the silence of her absence is crowded with everything I forgot to ask.
Was she happy with the way her life turned out?
What was her biggest disappointment?
How did she feel about getting old?
Did she think much about dying before she died?
Would she have done anything differently if she had it all to do over ?
What did she wish she had known when she was young?
Was she proud of the way she lived her life?
Was she proud of me?
When we were little and she gave us awards for the best made bed, did she really judge them or did she just rotate who the winner was?
What was the hardest part of parenting for her?
Did she like being a Mom?
Did she think she was good at being a Mom?
What was her biggest regret?
Did she have a child she most liked to spend time with?
Was she a happy child?
Did she have any advice for me as I age?
Did she think I did a good job raising my boys?
After nearly 60 years together, did she still love Dad?
Did she forget things as much as I am forgetting things at age 68?
What really happened to end her friendship with Mrs. Fordonski?
What made her faith so strong?
Did she have one child she worried about more than the others?
What accomplishment was she most proud of?
Why didn’t she go to Rome when I invited her?
Was there something she wanted to do with her life besides be a housewife and mother?
What happened the last two years of her life that made her so much more content?
Did she think she made a good choice marrying Dad?
Did she ever forgive Dad for not moving close to one of their kids?
Did she feel loved by her children?
The tragedy of losing my Mom wasn't just in her absence, but in the sudden, deafening realization of all the stories, struggles, and histories that vanished with her. I will carry that silence with grace and a quiet promise to never again let the stories of those I love go unasked, unheard, or unremembered.